


the final threads of my stability

by raspberryghoulaid



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Boys In Love, Comfort fic, Established Relationship, Luke Has Nightmares, Luke has ptsd, M/M, PTSD, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie is There For Luke, Sunset Curve, Trigger Warning: Death, mentions of trauma, post-death, slight angst, trigger warning: mentions of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28605741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raspberryghoulaid/pseuds/raspberryghoulaid
Summary: Luke remembers the night they died all too vividly.
Relationships: Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 132





	the final threads of my stability

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So I just wanted to establish before you get into this fic that this is based off a theory of what order all the boys died: In which Alex died first, Luke died second, and Reggie died last, because personally, it's the theory I indulge in the most and wanted to write around. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: (I put them in the tags but I'll put them here, too) Mentions of blood, death, PTSD, and mild implications of panic attacks.

_“Alex, wake up!” Luke wheezed, fumbling for his bandmate’s hand where the blonde boy laid across from him in the ambulance, body stock-still as the blood foamed at his lips and spilled down the side of his cheek. On his other side, Reggie battled to keep himself from shaking violently, coughing up scarlet drops of his own. “Guys, stay with me!” Even as he said it, Luke could feel the bile rising in his throat and his lips slick with sweat and blood._

_“We lost one of them!” Luke became hollow when the words rang out, tears streaming uncontrollably down the sides of his face as a choked sob bubbled in his chest, barely having the energy to make it out before his body convulsed again._

_“Luke, I have to tell you something.” Reggie panted, turning his head to face the boy stretched out on the gurney across from him. “Luke, please, I need to tell you something before I can’t anymore.”_

_Luke shook his head, reaching out to grasp Reggie’s hand in his own as he’d attempted to with Alex, the other boy’s knuckles a pale white as he clung to Luke’s hand desperately. “No, Reg, we’re gonna-“ A sudden searing pain in his abdomen sliced through the sentence before he could finish it, and he nearly doubled over in pain._

_“Luke!” It’s the last thing the guitarist heard before his vision became hazy and his limbs went slack, his hand growing cold as it slipped from Reggie’s. His body let out it’s last gasp, it’s last cry for life, and then he was fading, loosing his footing on reality and feeling himself being pulled elsewhere, away from his bandmates, his family. Luke died._

And then he wakes from sleep with a jolt, his fingers pulling at the sheets and his chest rising and falling in rapid motion. He feels hot, his tee shirt sticky with sweat where it clings to his back, a few loose strands of hair falling over his forehead in sudoric clumps. Beside him, a body stirs to life, and his vision unblurs just enough to see Reggie creasing his brow with concern. “Luke? What’s wrong?” The bassist’s voice is still thick with sleep, and he winces when Luke switches on a lamp, his narrowed eyes protesting the display of light.

“I….I had another nightmare,” Luke breathes, combs his fingers through his hair and tries to collect himself. “It’s fine, I just….I need a moment, maybe a glass of water. I’m sorry for waking you.”

“No,” Reggie shifts his position so he’s sitting up beside the other boy, carefully wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “No, it’s not fine, _you’re_ not fine. Was it the same as usual?” Reggie rubs at the exposed skin of Luke’s arm gently, stilling some of the nerves within Luke.

Luke nods. “That night, watching Alex die, and then having to leave you-Reg, I can’t seem to shake it. It was _twenty-five years ago_ and it still haunts me, even though we’re all here, and we’re alive-well, for the most part.” His body trembles as the memories come flooding back to him, the ambulance, the look on Reggie’s face, the EMT’s words when they’d lost Alex-it was all too much and he was slowly but surely spiraling into the aftermath of it.

“Hey, hey,” Reggie says quietly, sliding closer so he and Luke are pressed against each other, offering his touch to the other boy. “It’s okay, Luke. No one expects you to get over something like that so easily, so quickly. And really, it feels like just yesterday to Alex and I, too. We’re all……dealing with it in our own way. We get it, and we would never want you to feel like you’re doing this alone, okay?” He presses his fingertips to Luke’s jaw, tilting his bandmate’s head to face him so that they’re eye to eye. “We’re here for you.” Reggie whispers, just loud enough for Luke to hear.

“Reg,” Luke’s voice threatens to give out, his throat closing up. “You had to watch us _die_ , you were _alone_ , and I let you be alone. How could I do that to you?” He leans forward to let their foreheads fall together, breaths intermingling and fingers lacing together atop the sheets.

“Luke, it’s not your fault,” Reggie tells him sternly, stroking the other boy’s cheek with his thumb. “Luke, you need to listen to me, everything that happened, it is _not_ your fault. No one blames you, I don’t blame you, okay? I love you.” He wipes a tear from Luke’s cheek tenderly, the other boy’s skin warm underneath his touch.

“I love you, too, Reg,” Luke smiles, just slightly. “Always. And I promise you that you never have to be alone again. Not while I’m here.” He brings his free hand to fold around the back of Reggie’s neck, keeping him close.

“You know,” Reggie chuckles lightly. “When we were in that ambulance that night, I thought I’d never get to tell you how I felt. I tried, I wanted to tell you so bad, even if I was to die and it would never become of anything, I wanted you to know how much I love you Luke Patterson. You were.....gone before I could.”

“I’m so-“

“If you say you’re sorry one more time, Lukas, I won’t kiss you right now.” Reggie warns, and Luke laughs, pulling on his lower lip with his teeth.

“I love you.” Luke says earnestly, toying with a few ebony black strands that rest at the nape of the bassist’s neck. “I love you so fucking much, baby.” He kisses him then, deeply and passionately and so full of love and devotion that Reggie falls back a bit at the intensity, back hitting the mattress as Luke hovers over him, pressing kiss after kiss to his lips and smiling all the while. When they break, Luke tugs him into his arms, winds his arms around his bandmate’s body and plants a lingering kiss to his forehead. “I love you.” He murmurs once more, and Reggie grins as he buries his face in Luke’s chest.

“Could you love each other a little quieter next time, even a ghost needs to sleep.” A voice from below them echoes through the loft, and Luke rolls his eyes.

“You’re just jealous, Alex.”

“And you’re a sap, Luke.” Luke opens his mouth to protest at that, but Reggie silences him with a kiss, and Luke is already melting in response, further proving Alex’s point.

“Goodnight, Alex.” The black haired boy chimes in when they pull apart, tucking himself into his boyfriend. Luke flicks off the lamp. 

“Goodnight, Reg,” The blonde boy responds. “Luke.” He adds as an afterthought, causing Luke’s face to scrunch in annoyance. Reggie laughs, and Luke seems to drop the issue at the sound, settling into his role as the big spoon.

The nightmares never really seem to cease after that night, growing less frequent but still ever present, and Reggie is always there when he wakes from sleep in the middle of the night with a firm embrace and delicate fingers woven through his to ground him. At the end of the day, Reggie is the guardian angel he most definitely doesn’t deserve but desperately needs, and whenever Luke wakes in a fit and just needs to _feel_ Reggie there, the other boy doesn’t hesitate to give Luke everything he has and Luke just loves him _so fucking much_.

At the end of the day, the nightmares aren’t so bad when Luke has the perfect remedy. 


End file.
